My New Method For Getting Things To Sink In For My Kids

A few nights ago night as I’m washing dishes, I hear Little Man shouting at me from another room.  Over the sound of running water I shout back,  I can’t hear you! So he proceeds to shout again. Louder this time. I ignore him and eventually he comes into the kitchen to tell me what’s so important, after which, I deliver the speech about NOT shouting at me from another room. The same speech that I’ve been delivering to him since he was old enough to know it wasn't okay to shout at me from another room.

Little Man and Big Man are funny that way. No matter how many times I tell them things, it just doesn’t sink in. So I’m thinking a different approach is in order. I'm going to start giving them tests on appropriate behavior choices. 

Here are a few sample questions for them:

What do I do when I’m in another room and I need to tell Mom something but she can’t hear me?

a.  Shout louder

b.  Shout “Get your ass in here woman I have something to say!

c.  Convince myself that she said I could go long boarding even though I haven't finished my homework

d.  Go to the room she’s in and have a face-to-face conservation

When I get undressed at night to get ready for bed I…

a.  Leave my dirty clothes on the floor right where I took them off

b.  Roll them up in a ball and throw them next to the hamper

c.  Hide them in the closet to moulder for weeks on end

d.  Take the lid off the hamper, place the clothes inside, then put the lid back on 

When I’m having a snack while watching television I...

a.  Leave the half-eaten snack and sticky wrapper on the coffee table in case the ants are hungry

b.  Finish the snack but hide the wrapper behind the couch pillow along with my dirty socks

c.  Blame the mess on my brother so I don't have to clean it up

d.  After my show is over, drag my body off  the couch and throw the snack remains in the trash

What do I do when my parents are out for the evening and I smell something funny?

a.  Continue to watch TV and ignore the smell

b.  Wait for my parents to come home and clean up the pile of diarrhea the dog left in the dining room

c.  Stick my hand in a plastic bag and, no matter how many times I gag, clean up the mess

Please note, the circumstances described above are purely fictional and certainly not based on anyone's past actions or lack thereof. I mean, at least one of them isn't. 

I'll give this a try and if it doesn't work, I'll have to come up with another method for getting them to pay attention. What? Did I just hear someone say shock collar? No? 

I could have sworn I did.