My "Almost" Julia Roberts Hairy Armpits Moment

This past Saturday night I had a break from reality. Instead of collapsing on the couch with a frosty cold one after a marathon day of watching rec-league hockey, I attended a fancy-shmancy dinner-dance/benefit.

Which meant I had to transform myself from someone whose usual attire is a full-length puffer-coat and mud-encrusted UGGs to some high-heeled, makeup-wearing stranger. Not an easy feat.

So when I got into the shower to blast off a day's worth of rink residue, I figured it was high time I shaved my armpits. Especially since the dress I was planning to wear was sleeveless.

Now, I am a regular shaver. In the summer. In the winter, my attitude about body hair is what they don't know won't hurt 'em. So seeing it was winter, which meant I was out of practice, I figured it might be a good idea to do some quality control after my shaving session.

As I peered into my magnifying mirror to examine my newly-shorn pits, I was fully expecting to see maybe a missed patch of stubble or some razor rash.

When, QUELLE HORREUR!!!

Poking out the side of my underarm were straggly strands of pit hair! I swear to god, one was at least an inch long! How could I have missed that? I was headed for a Julia Roberts moment.

(Remember when she showed up at some film premier looking like she was transporting a small rodent in her arm pit? No? Well, let me refresh your memory.)

Jeez Louise. Her pit hair is so long it even has a part. But I digress. Julia didn't seem fazed by it. I guess, when you look like Julia Roberts, what's a little pit hair? Or a lot, for that matter?

I, on the other hand, wasn't going to come close to looking like Julia in my sleeveless sheath. So I got to work. With hands still trembling from the shock of what I witnessed underneath my arm, I shaved off the wiry strands.

Then, arms plastered firmly to my sides, I went off to the ball. Determined not to raise either one. No matter how many adoring fans I saw.